Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Turns out that my get rich painfully slow scheme isn`t working out either.
I´m playing that game where the floor is made of lava, so I obviously can´t get off the couch or I´ll die.
My doctor said I`m healthy enough for sexual activity ... I`m just not attractive enough.
Progress is made by lazy people looking for an easier way to do things
On the Internet you can be anything you want ... It`s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
Old is when you start thinking about the things you used to do more than the things you’re going to do.
Since It`s summer here`s a little advice, best way to beat the heat is to wear a San Antonio Spurs jersey
If I drop my food on a plane, and we change time zones at the same time, do I receive an additional hour to the 5 second rule?
With great power comes great electricity bill.
"I knew that..." -Me, after every Jeopardy question.
Facebook is like my fridge… I know there is nothing there but I check it every 10 minutes anyways.
Sometimes you have to flip out and go bat sh!t crazy to make a point.
Kids these days with their high tech cell phones. They will never get the experience of being stuck in a tree and not knowing if anyone is coming to help. Oh, and could someone come and set my ladder back up so I can get down.
Don`t understand how you can forget about someone you loved so much. Like that time my mum drove off and left me in the supermarket car park
I`ve finally stopped drinking for good ... And I`ve started drinking for evil.