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You know you`re getting older when your friends start using the term "Pregnant" instead of "Knocked Up"
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
People who live in glass houses should not throw orgies
Dear Microsoft Office Word I am pretty sure I spelled my name correct
So far today has been a pretty good day...I haven`t had to bite or hit anyone, yet!!
What do you mean this posting of the BBQ ribs you made is not an invite?
I’m a pervert, but in a romantic way.
I`d kill for a microwave that plays Europe`s “The Final Countdown” during the last 30 seconds.
Pringles should make their containers like a Push Up Pop.
If anyone tells you, you have ADHD. Pay no attention.
The self-driving car should have an "I`m Feeling Lucky" button that drives you to a random location.
Not all men cheat. Some of you women just assume you’re in a relationship with the guy.
Just witnessed kids playing tag. What is this world coming to? Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise?
I wonder how the Never-ending story is doing.
The best part about growing old with you is that I`ll always be the younger one.