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I just love having sex with you...Next time I hope you are there with me.
I like having an ex ...it gives me something to do on Facebook at 3 in the morning.
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren’t there Starbucks pumpkin spice latte trucks in the winter?
I have done some truly amazing things to get the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube.
What a snow day inside with the kids! My one son thought it would be a good idea to fill up the garage freezer with snow to save for later and my other son had an "accident" and peed all over the floor in the bathroom. Youd think they know better at 13 and 15 years old! I probably should stop letting them drink beer in the house.
I went to open a can of Whoop-Ass but it had a child-proof lid.
What happens in Vegas never happens to me
Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don`t.
everyone is BEAUTIFUL in there own way--your just to UGLY to see that
I work so hard for my gta V character to have a better life
Sometimes my life feels like a 40 year long episode of Punk`d...
I wish I could select all my responsibilities and press delete.
Being an adult is mostly waiting to leave places you didn`t want to go to in the first place.
I`m one of the nicest a$$holes you could ever hope to meet.
I think I may have misunderstood my boss yesterday when she told me that she wanted to see me hard at work