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I don`t care how the future pans out, any amazon delivery from now on is referred to as a drone strike.
I hate it when people beg for likes, like if you agree?
i never said i knew what i was doing, i said i was going to do it anyway :)
Common sense is like deodorant; those that need it most, don’t use it.
My friends are the type of friends that if my house was on fire, they would be over here with marshmallows and hitting on the hot fireman!
"Good for you!" means, "I do not consider you a threat" in woman-speak.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.
Man, that .01% of germs that can´t be killed by hand sanitizer must be some bad a$$ sh!t
Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me?
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. Except for bodily functions...Hopefully you can control THEM. :/
Don`t look at me in that tone of voice...
The sound of children laughing makes me happy. Unless I`m home alone and my power goes out.
I’m going to rename my wifi network to “Surveillance Van #02?. That should keep the neighbors on their toes for a while.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets!
I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.