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Honesty is the best policy, but insanity makes for a better legal defense.
If you see me drinking coffee from a to-go cup in public after 3 pm, that coffee is booze in disguise.
Have you ever been so hungry you accidentally called someone sandwich?
One thing I`ve learned about women is they prefer that I don`t speak
I just ordered a Life Alert bracelet so if I ever get a life I`ll be notified immediately.
You know what’s huge in Japan? ..Sumo wrestlers. ;)
Tomorrow, I`m going to open up the time capsule I buried when I was a kid. I can`t wait to see how big my puppy got!
Head & Shoulders needs to come out with a body spray that will help repel flakey people from my life.
Ever wanna tell someone to shut the f*ck up even when they are not speaking
It is a sad day when you go to all the trouble of getting a Frontal Lobotomy and no one notices.....................
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
Wow....turns out I`m NOT a Ninja. That really hurt.
Don`t take nude pics. Problem solved.
Will someone please tell ugly girls with small boobs that their opioion doesnt really matter.
dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned