Daily Silly Status

So when a couple gets engaged on Facebook for April Fools it`s okay to comment "hahaha" but the rest of the year it`s rude??

Remember the bridge you drive over today was built by the lowest bidder.

Jack Frost go away, come again another day. I need some sun, I need some sand, I need an island & a band. I`m bored with you & tired of the cold, so go away your getting old. Bring on the sun at one hundred degrees, some coconut oil & pina coladas please

You say stalker. I say unpaid private investigator.

Imagine this: You`re home alone and you sneeze. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers `Bless you` and hangs up.

If you are stalking me, please keep up, I have a lot of errands today.

Do you like me? Breathe for yes, lick your elbow for no.

My dog is a typical guy, I talk to him and he’s all wagging his tail, but I know he’s not listening. I get it ladies.

The only idea worse than New Coke was brown toilet paper...

Would it be wrong to ask a one-eyed person if it really was "all fun and games" up to that point?

Women say they want a guy who can make them laugh. I`d probably have done better if they`d specified that they didn`t mean by tickling.

I want to sleep tighter

Karma may "work" but I think that bitch takes a lot of days off

I wish there was a reality show where people learned grammar.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I hate you bye