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Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.
Why do they always have 5K runs for charity? Just once, couldn’t they have a sit for charity or nap for charity?
At the end of the day, it`s 11:59pm.
Does anyone have the recipe for ice cubes? Asking for a friend.
I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn`t think.
All my bills say "outstanding", I guess that means I`m good to go!
Care less and you’ll stress less.
Christmas spirit? I`m proud to say I`ve got plenty of that. I`ve got rum, whiskey, gin, brandy, vodka and tequila.
I love when bill collectors ask if you can borrow the money...uh I did that before and I think we both know how that turned out.
I wonder if the two guys arguing over r2d2 and roadrunner ever get laid.
10% of people genuinely care about your problems. The other 90% are glad that you’ve got them.
People who say "Don`t mix drugs with alcohol"" ... they`re stupid, right?
Don’t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I’ve changed since then.
I copied and pasted your pic of what you ate...and got MORE "likes" than you did. :P
I usually want to post intelligent and witty comments. But I end up posting stupid and funny ones so my friends can understand them.