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A new study has found that women with larger butts live longer than men who mention it.
I am currently unsupervised ... I know, it freaks me out too. But the possibilities are endless!
There`s no better reminder to visit your dentist than a trip to Walmart.
My friends are the type of friends that if my house was on fire, they would be over here with marshmallows and hitting on the hot fireman!
Every year new words are added onto the dictionary, yet no new positions are added to the karma sutra.
I was visited by three spirits last night, Vodka, Rum And Gin. . .
Relationship status: If I slam on my brakes really hard... The seatbelt hugs me back.
It`s impossible to get a parking ticket if you don`t have windshield wipers.
Not now, I`m busy bringing shame to my family on the internet.
Remember ... I can always make it look like an accident.
Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
When someone tries to tell me they can`t do something, I`m like "you ever hear of the Power of Grayskull?"
Show me on the back of your mini van window where your life went wrong.
Roasted beef is like regular beef except the cows family tells embarrassing stories about it, which are tough and tasteless.
It`s kind of creepy that you noticed me staring at you.