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My Christmas tree smells like pine, and is hanging from the shift lever in my car.
I try to get in at least 30 minutes of talking about exercise every day.
My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update bar as the search bar on my browser.
White girls be like: I`ll have one triple mocha dark chocolate ugg boot raspberry white iphone 5 double caramel infinity sign frappe please.
You can learn a lot from a person especially when you watch them through high powered binoculars, I`m just saying.
If I weren´t such an alcoholic I would throw my drink in your face
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn`t much, but the reception was excellent.
I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart, and a terrible memory.
Mondays are middle finger approved
Who needs Halloween decorations when I can just put up my selfies?
I’m pretty sure I could start a new life with only the crap in my car.
Pretty busy today. Was only able to check my phone 1400 times.
"If your reading this, I think your awesome!"
We`re like hot chocolate and marshmallows. You`re hot, and I wanna be on top of you.
I was trying to think of something really deep to post on Facebook this morning. The Mariana Trench comes to mind.