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Do you guys dance in the shower too? This morning I did the robot! (I short circuited and stared at the wall for 40 minutes, broken)
How do you play religious roulette? You stand around in a circle with your friends and blaspheme, and see who gets struck by lightning first.
I think it`s safe to assume that people buying stock in twitter have never actually been on twitter.
So after an hour of playing Paper, Rock, Scissors, we decided to call it a tie. Good game, mirror!
Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.
My high school girlfriend got "uses her kids as her facebook profile picture" fat.
"Hot singles in your area want nothing to do with you." -Honest spam
Iām considering becoming a mind reader ... What are your thoughts?
drink beer ?? save water
Glad McDonald`s don`t serve hotdogs, I don`t think I could order a McWeiner with a straight face.
I would really like to help you move your furniture tomorrow but Iām going to be too busy sitting on mine
Lay-Z: My rapper name.
If you wake up with a funny taste in your mouth on christmas morning...............just remember that santa only cums once a year. :D
Vaginas are like the weather. When it`s wet, it`s time to go inside.
Treat your mom to a margarita this mothers day! Remember you`re the reason she drinks.