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I`d say I`m not a morning person but I`m really not sure I`m an evening person either.
Sometimes I wish I wasn`t rich and handsome and delusional.
Must be my day for Mis-Advertizing --- I just ate a Bowl of Cheerios ----- and they DIDN`T make me Happy!!!! FML!!! :-P
Autocorrect is a great feature, but it can also be your worst enema.
My wife is pissed at me again...appearently I am breathing wrong.
Dating someone solely on their looks is shallow. Consider other things such as how much money they have.
Iām mad, but not as mad as someone asking to see the rules in the middle of a monopoly game.
I had to explain the Goonies today... so I`m feeling super old and bitter.
Why is it that most nudists are people you don`t want to see naked?
Admitting you have a problem is half the battle. Convincing everyone else that they`re the problem is the other half.
Famous words from Fergie... "Boom Boom Pow!" Happy 4th of July!!
Free middle fingers for everyone!!!
I`m going to clean my house today and by clean I mean I`m drinking vodka and spraying Febreze everywhere.
I bet when spiders see those fake green cob webs on Halloween they must be like "Ugh, tourists".
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole....