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It`s been a boring day today. Not exactly Nascar boring, but awfully close.
People who don`t know what they want should not use the drive thru!
Ha = I didn`t find that funny. Haha = That was funny. Hahahahaha = I want to sleep with you.
Sometimes I wonder how people who don`t have kids get their TV remotes from the other side of the room.
Back in my day, we didn’t have Instagram. We had to bore people in person with photo albums.
If every porkshop was perfect, we wouldn`t have hot dogs.
People who say, “Happy New Year” to you on the 4th of January are not really your friends.
Sorry for whatever I said when I was hungry.
I hate when people call me and ask "WHO IS THIS?"
That awkward moment when your parents don’t appreciate the hilarious child they have.
If you insist on sending me pics of your boobs please at least be a female!!
You know what they say about men with big feet ;)..........We always have trouble finding shoes that fit.
You call it camping. I call it getting drunk with insects.
I don`t get my neighbor. tells me to make my self at home but then gets pissed off when they come into the kitchen and I`m in my underwear making a sandwich.
Just spent like 5 hours talking to my neighbor about his garden and long story short, turns out it was just a f*cking scarecrow.