Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m not saying I`m lazy, but someone wrote "wash me" on my car so I just wrote back "nah"
It’s always hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they’re always taking things literally.
The bat signal seems pretty useless if they need Batman during the day.
There`s no law against twerking...but apparently it`s still frowned upon during jury duty.
That weird feeling when you wake up from a nap & you don`t whether it`s am or pm or what day, month, or year it is.
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don`t exist. He`s vacuuming.
I am the head of this household, and I have my wife`s permission to say so.
I hate when you tell someone you’re bored, and they suggest getting together. Then you have to explain that you’re not quite that bored.
When women say “It’s not what’s on the outside, it’s what’s on the inside that counts”, we all know they are talking about a Man’s wallets.
Sometimes, I`m offended at how easily offended some people get.
I don’t know how many girls it takes to change a lightbulb but I guarantee you they’d post pictures of them doing it on Facebook.
I repaired my blow up doll with superglue.....that was an awkward trip to the emergency room (<>..<>)
That one-day popularity on Facebook because it’s your birthday.
Going to the toilet without your phone is like going to war without a gun
When 12 year old girls call each other honey and sweet heart...