Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Admit it at some point in your life you have tried to close the fridge slowly to see when the light goes out...
It`s true alcohol kills people, but how many are born because of it?
If you`re bored, wear a cape. Then you can be Super Bored
I show my age when I`m in a club with all the 20 somethings.. Guess its because the last dance step I mastered was dancing like Gene Gene The Dancing Machine
You offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
If you were born in September, it`s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a BANG
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
If there`s no god then how do you explain yoga pants?
wassup pips! :-) no i don`t mean you guys pip, get it? piping?? haaahaaa... looks like i`m the only one laughing right? well it sounded funnier in my head (-_-)
It`s a good idea to test your immune system from time to time by eating a gas station hot dog
Sometimes I add things to my to-do list that I’ve already done just so I can immediately cross them off.
If you don’t already hate people, the mall is a great place to start.
If we sneezed Windex instead of spit I bet my neighbors would be cool with me standing at their window.
I wish that just once, the clerk would just put the Monopoly money in the drawer and hand me a receipt
Mattel is launching a new Facebook Barbie. She looks like a stunning hot blonde on the package but is an old fat guy when you open the box.