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They say the key to a fitness routine is having a workout buddy and that`s why I surround myself with lazy people
I`ve ended up encountering much less porridge than I had expected I would as a child.
Anyone know when Facebook is sending us our W-2`s?
I love long walks on the beach under the moonlight, poetry, candlelight dinners, and having my a$$ spanked with a fuzzy slipper.
I`m really easy to get along with, once people learn to worship me.
with great power...comes great electric bill...
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.
I hope I die alone. I mean, you`d have to be a pretty big jerk to hope others die with you.
Now that "twerk" has been added to the dictionary, I can`t wait for a Spelling Bee judge to be asked to use it in a sentence.
Being a camera must be pretty cool. You get to sleep until there`s something cool to see.
I’ve been really depressed these past few days. Finally visited a therapist and got diagnosed. Turns out, I’m poor.
This beer is making me awesome !! ;)
Everyone picks their nose at some point, it`s what you choose to do next that defines who you are as a person.
Life gets expensive when you trust a woman that`s cute.
I`m in no shape to exercise patience!