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I have a great relationship with Alcohol..
As an adult, I use nunchucks way less than I expected.
BEST PICK UP LINE: You would probably sleep better tonight if we had sex.
I don`t mind sharing the highway with other people. I just wish they`d use the part behind me.
Enough with the lies, people who drink decaf coffee, tell us what your game plan is.
They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
One of these days I`m going to get help for my procrastination problem.
I solve my problems by blatantly ignoring them and going on the internet.
The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. At least, that`s what the restraining order says.
Now that "twerk" has been added to the dictionary, I can`t wait for a Spelling Bee judge to be asked to use it in a sentence.
Why do they write PIZZA all over the box? What else could possibly be in there???
just read a list of "the 100 things to do before you die." I´m pretty surprised "yell for help" wasn´t one of them.
Shout out to sidewalks. Thanks for keeping me off the streets.
Guy test! find the nearest guy by you and repeat to him the following slowly: Door knob, Titanic, Gluestick, Kiwi, Opra Winfey, Shovel, Boobs, Remote, Battery, Furby, Glowstick, Beer, & Xbox. NOW ask him what he remembers before "Boobs"
"in other news… it turns out being mayor of Toronto is all that its cracked up to be" - George T. Ignace