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I have a brilliant idea once every seven beers.
Next time a stranger talks to me when I`m alone I will look at them shocked and just quietly whisper.... "You can see me?"
If you’re a size 0 we shouldn’t be able to see you.
Hello...
If your talking behind my back then guess what? Your in a pretty good position to kiss my a$$!!!!
To all the NSA agents reading this right now, I just want to say sorry that my life is so boring.
Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.
Chickens: The only animals you eat before they`re born AND after they`re dead.
I love how television has redefined the word `marathon` to the exact opposite of physical exercise
Feeling a little sassy today...But then again, that`s everyday
Relationships are not a test... So why cheat?
Opposites attract, that`s the trouble with being awesome
I need to find a woman that loves me for my money....but doesn`t understand math. (<>..,<>)