Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Whenever I screw up at work, I`m so glad I`m not a doctor.
Insomnia causes questionable browser history.
Avoid parking tickets by leaving your wipers on high.
Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades........... Wait till summer... Enjoy!
Do you ever think about sh!t you did in the past and just go why the f*ck did nobody punch me in the face?
Stupidity should be painful...really!!!
I`m not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to sh!t indoors.
?”Nobody listens to me….” – Yellow traffic light
If anybody steals my identity, at least I’ll know who to look for.
My boss was all, "Do you know why I called you to the office, " and I was like, "I dunno is there a hidden security camera in the bathroom."
Just ran across a great dessert recipe...Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl. Add fresh squeezed lime juice. Then toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake.
I wish there was a way to find out how many boners you’ve caused in a lifetime, I wanna check my stats.
Curling irons have a warning tag that says “For External Use Only.” Which of you sick mofos made that necessary?
Here`s where I draw the line: ___________________________.
We should be nicer to old people. When they walked uphill both ways in the snow they had to do it without an internet connection too.