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Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
I do not have commitment issues... I`ve been buying the same brand of vodka for 8 years!
I support recycling, I wore this shirt yesterday.
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren’t there Starbucks pumpkin spice latte trucks in the winter?
Cheers, to judging people who spell words wrong in their statuses.
I refuse to jump on the `I hate Mondays` bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally
I`m concerned my kids will end up in therapy because I didn`t tell everyone on FB how much I love them.
I put a bumper sticker that says "Honk if You Think I`m Sexy" on my car. Then I wait at green lights until I feel better about myself.
Some people should use a glue stick instead of chap stick.
Good things come to those who wait ... Which explains why I`m always late.
Is it just me that finds it disturbing that you can accidentally make a baby but you can`t accidentally make a pizza?
FYI, Target does not give prizes, no matter how many bullseyes you hit in the store with a paintball gun
You know one thing i really like about you is that you dont like anything about me.
pens and pencils are drumsticks and desks and textbooks are drum kits. its a fact.
People who learned a bunch of stuff must have felt pretty stupid when Wikipedia came out.