Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"There`s nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars" -Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.
I`m thankful for many things, but mostly that there were no camera phones when I was in high school.
Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so fvck it!
I`ll decide whether it`s a compliment or sexual harassment.
if your an astronaut, and you don`t end a relationship with "look, I just need space.." then your wasting everyones time
This Pokemon Go crap is getting ridiculous. I just saw a fight breakout between the pokebloods and the pokecrips.
I think I bought just enough fireworks to get my neighbor to move.
Mary Had a Little Lamb, Little Lamb, Little Lamb. Maybe she wasn`t that hungry.
I don`t appreciate my son`s teacher circling all the wine stains on his homework.
If you feel like you’re about to punch someone, take a deep breath. Then exhale as you punch to get more power.
Why do single people take advice from other single people? That’s like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions
Why is it when you take a break from Facebook everyone assumes you`re happy and in love ... Maybe I was in jail.
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin
I get my: Cereal from a tiger, Insurance from a gecko, Toilet paper from a bear, Financial advice from a gorilla. It`s people I don`t trust.
What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?