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How come know-it-alls, don`t know how annoying they are?
My medical ID bracelet says "just let it happen"
they say "money cant buy happiness" but money pays for my internet connection and my vodka so im thinking maybe "they" are wrong
We are the only ones who can control our own happiness, but sometimes it feels like someone else is holding the remote.
North West? Im confused i thought Kim Kardashian gave birth to a child not a compass
I relate to Game of Thrones because much like my own life, I have no idea what`s going on and there`s a lot of wine drinking.
never tell a lie...unless it is true
Pretty sure airport food was priced by children just learning about numbers. "Ok Brian, how much should this apple cost?" SIXTY TWO DOLLARS!!
I assume that a Columbus Day sale means I can just walk into a store and take whatever I want.
If you enjoy being the 10,000th person to put your thumb into a hole, then bowling is for you.
My boyfriend isn`t allowed to break up with me. You wanna see other people? Look out the window.
BOOK FACT: If you took every book at Barnes and Noble and laid them end to end you get thrown out by security and banned from returning.
I’m a fan of saying YOU’RE WELCOME really loudly when people don’t thank you.
Someone asked me if I`m ever scared that I`ll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my cat was right there.
Still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk