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IM LOST! I`ve gone to look for my self. If u see me, tell me to wait here till I get back.
Life gets a lot easier once you decide to become part of the problem.
Going to tattoo shop to get both legs fully covered. Before he touches me with that needle, I run off yelling `thanks for the free shave loser!`
whoever said that there are no stupid questions was stupid
I hate it when totally random strangers ask me stupid questions like "Why are you licking me?"
Whole Foods added a 10 items or less checkout line.... *as if anyone can afford to buy more than 10 items at a Whole Foods.
If cats could talk, they`d probably always be correcting your grammar.
I`m 0-9 on finding secret rooms behind bookcases.
I finally finished my 4,000 piece jigsaw puzzle. It reads- " Get a life you sad F**k "
"User Friendly" is just another way of saying stupid.......
I got up this morning and think I saw my shadow. I´m going back to bed for six weeks.
This is the only way I know how to correctly use a semi-colon ;)
This spider just got away from me because I made the classic villain mistake of telling him my whole evil plan before killing him.
How Big is Infinity?
I didn`t come here to make friends. I go to the cat shelter for that.