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Love is like Wi-Fi, you can`t see it, but you know when you`ve lost it.
Everyone around me keeps telling me I`m mean ... Which is absurd ... Plus, they`re ugly.
I used to be a class act......or clown,as my 7th grade teacher would tell my parents!!
Guys, want to find out all of your flaws in under a minute? Just ask your girlfriend if she`s gained weight.
The best part of time travel will be sleeping until noon and making it to work on time at 8am.
Please: No,No.No-More about how you think relationships should be: we`ve got it , Your Single,,- get off facebook and go take your own expert advise...
Bring a CD into my car that I "have to hear" and I`ll figure out a way to deploy the passenger side airbags
Roses are red, this much is true, Violets are purple, not f*cking blue
You know what else looks like a ring and has lots of power over people? Donuts.
My parents say I was an unplanned child, which probably explains why my life isn`t going to plan.
If each day is a gift, I wonder where I can return monday.
Where is the button to restart summer?
Jingle bells johnny smells, amelia ruled the show, frankies okay, marcus is gay, little mix all the way.. HAY !!!
Life is basically just a constant effort to not be disgusting.
Buy a "World`s Greatest Boss" mug and drink out of it in front of your boss.