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Honk if you are reading this.
With the right person, you can talk about absolutely nothing for hours & feel like you spoke about everything.
My wife is going to the hair salon today so for the next few hours I will be practising my reaction.
My husband is not allowed to help with math anymore. Apperently 4 = 6.5 in his reality.
I want a firsthand test of the "mo money, mo problems" hypothesis.
I either get what I want or I change my mind!
I often wondered what it`d be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while...
Let`s start by taking some notes today. I`m fabulous bitches! Write that down.
OMG! A CUSTOMER ALMOST DIED IN FRONT OF ME TODAY!! But then I counted to 10 and put the scissors back in the drawer. She never even knew.
Women seem to want security. At least that`s what they yell whenever I approach them.
I went to buy condoms and the cashier just said "yeah right" and put em back on the shelf
I can make your gf scream louder than you can. - Spider
If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
The downside of being a bomb disposal technician. It takes 6 hours to open Christmas gifts.
Running away doesn`t help your problems, unless you`re fat. Then yeah, run away.