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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

People will do odd things to get even.
Sarcasm, I put that sh!t on everything
I may have just inadvertently accomplished something.
For those of you wondering what it`s like to be married, I`m on day 3 of an argument I didn`t know I was having.
DATING TIP: Any time someone is hot and you`re too scared to approach them, remind yourself that they`ve probably had diarrhea at some point
Call me crazy, but I don`t think I really need to be in this mental institution.
Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.
Can’t wait till I’m old and I can play the β€˜fall asleep’ card in awkward situations.
I found my first grey pubic hair today. Normally things like this don`t bother me, but it was in my Big Mac.
People should be required to pay an extra dollar for every syllable of their coffee order.
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ...
No Shirt No Shoes No Service. What about pants?
For someone who can`t put on a pair of socks without falling over, I sure do manage to get a lot done every day.
It`s scientifically proven that stress is caused by giving a f*ck.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it.