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Stop everything you’re doing. Think about me. You’re welcome.
Are you watching too much T.V but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on.
It takes a smoke detector 4 months to stop beeping if you were wondering how lazy I am.
I`d rather be in a relationship where no one wears the pants.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does
I`m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
How can I learn to be more patient? (I`m only interested in quick-fix solutions with immediate results please)
I got in touch with my musculine side today - laying on the couch all day, eating gross food, playing games...
Water is so good when it`s mixed with grains and yeast, fermented and then distilled and aged.
I will probably die as a result of being sarcastic to the wrong person at the wrong time.
When someone wants to talk behind your back, FART!
USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails.
I spent the first 20 minutes of 2014 looking for the remote.
One of these days I’ll realize that leaning forward in my car while accelerating does not make it go any faster.
There’s no excuse for laziness.. but if you find one, let me know.