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Honesty is the best policy, unless you`re trying to return something that you`ve already worn.
Do trolls even live under bridges anymore? Or have they all relocated to the Internet?
Chuck-E-Cheese, because it`s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling..
Dramatically slamming a book shut upon finishing it was way more satisfying than switching my Kindle off and gently placing it on the table.
I`ll be thankful when this thankful month is over.
I am tired of men complaining about women complaining about men complaining about women
Never say "piece of cake!" to me. Unless there is, indeed, a piece of cake involved.
My dentist just told me I need a crown..... I know, right??
I ran into a dwarfs car this morning and he come up to me and said "I`m not happy!" And I said we`ll which one are you then
$100 for a dozen red what?! That`s a lot of money for a plant you can’t smoke.
Day 1-365: I am thankful for Veterans.
If you tell me you`re giving something 110% then I’m assuming the extra 10% is your stupidity.
You can either agree with me, or you can be wrong.
I think I`m funny - but looks aren`t everything
My girlfriend is gorgeous, selfless, graceful, highly intelligent and looking over my shoulder as I type.