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Just so you know, the movie "Life of Pi" has nothing to do with dessert.
The discharge paperwork at the hospital seems to be expedited a little quicker if you roam up and down the hall with the back of your hospital gown untied.
Steve Jobs is now working with God to make iWife... Beauty with brains and Mute button
I did 26 situps this morning. It’s not a lot, but then again, how many times can someone snooze an alarm clock ?
It`s so cold outside I had to put Jack in my Coke to keep it from freezing.
Calm down, take a deep breath and hold it for about 20 minutes.
I have officially bought the first batch of Halloween candies that will not make it to Halloween.
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today.
I answered the door in my underwear. That WAS the tip, pizza guy!
If you see a road sign that says "Survey Crew Ahead" they actually are not looking for your opinions ... I know that now.
I saw a spider in my bathtub. So I took a tissue and very, very carefully, burned the house down.
Just found out the government won`t hire you past age 37. Scratch Navy SEAL off my to do list
OMG, what a day I had. If Monday was a guy, I`d punch him in the throat!
Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people`s backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching.
I`m motivated by a need to leave something meaningful in the world & a profound desire to shove it in the face of anyone who`s rejected me.