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My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying don`t run into anyone you know
A lot of people are very competitive when playing stupid.
The weekend went by and I don’t remember any of it. That’s a good thing right?
I’ve come to the realization that the trash goes out more than I do.
I`m not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes.
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
No one is ever bored enough to start studying.
"May the 4th" be with you!
The word “fireplace” really reveals the creativity of our ancestors
It’s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
What is Warm, Soft, Sticky and has a Hole in the middle? It`s a Fresh donut. I was way off on that one!
They say a dog can retrieve a tennis ball from over a mile away. Seems a bit far fetched to me.
To whoever said “fight fire with fire”: do you actually test your own advice before giving it?
Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.
A morning text from me doesn`t mean "good morning". It means "I`m having very dirty thoughts about you right now".