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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

How many times can you celebrate a 29th birthday before people catch on? -asking for a friend
The only way you can be right in an argument with a woman is by admitting you`re wrong.
I`m pretty sure my Internet Explorer β€œerror reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.
I hate when people post lyrics from songs, but I will survive.
In the 1960s, if you said "All my music is in the cloud" it was due to mushrooms; not Apple.
To the untrained eye, I`m quite handsome.
The only thing actually impossible in life is taking a picture for a group of women and having ALL of them like it.
She deleted and blocked me so I guess you can say we`re taking it slow now.
Since it is the day to give thanks, I would like to say once again...you`re welcome.
So long pants! See you Monday!
My wife was so sick this morning that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast.
Judging by the size of these chicken fingers, that chicken had to be somewhere between 7` to 10` tall.
When we married, she treated me like a God. As time went by, the letters got reversed
People who get offended on the internet are the same people who take mini golf seriously.
Please please, keep talking. I always yawn when I`m interested...