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Guys... If the girl your getting down with doesn`t even have time to fake an orgasm..... It`s prob best you just make your sandwich
Share this if you are weird and don`t care
Candy canes are the perfect treat. They are minty & put you into the holiday spirit & can easily be fashioned into a shank.
You should never lie through your teeth. Open your mouth and speak properly.
I sometimes ask myself, "What would Jesus do?", and then I think, Jesus wouldn`t be caught up in this sh*t.
Yeah, sex is awesome. But have you ever put clothes on straight out of the dryer?
You can tell by a woman`s feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
My version of flirting is looking at someone attractive multiple times while hoping they are more brave than I am.
I`m not sure how to say this but ... Worcestershire sauce
I wish my wallet came with free refills.
Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.
Grammar is important! Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a horse.
my girlfriend does that cute thing, where she doesnt exist.
The only good thing about being an alcoholic is that no one ever asks me to drive them anywhere.
Handy tip for new parents : Wake up your baby by gently resting your head on a pillow.