Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They should make a medal for anyone who uses an entire tube of chapstick without losing it.
Yes I`m still bitter about my name not being mentioned in "Mambo No. 5"
Told my kids next time I take their electronics away I`d also be responding to all texts they receive. They`ve been well behaved since.
If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.
The wife finally agreed to anal sex... Does anyone know what a strap-on is?
I need a new refrigerator ... There`s no food in mine.
Dear middle finger, Thank you for sticking up for me.
If people rode their spouses like they did their brakes the divorce rate would drop drastically.
Please don`t make me choose between you and porn.
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then.
I don’t just sing in the shower... I perform.
It`s never going to work out between Mario and the Princess. Most of the time she`s on a whole other level.
Sometimes, I think I`m a genius. Then I realize I`ve already seen this episode of Jeopardy.
When I see someone yawn, I yawn. I wish it was the same with exercising....
Sometimes, when my husband has a day off, I like to bring the TV remote with me to work.