Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You know the fun part of your life is over when people around you are getting pregnant on purpose.
Smile, it confuses people. ;)
I`m always tempted to yell "Kevin!" mid-flight.
Sometimes I wish you could ask the pharmacist to "make it a double".
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance...The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, `Well, she`s there`
I hate it when a dog starts barking and then every other dog nearby retweets him.
It`s ok, ghosts, no-one believes in me either.
I want the time management skills of people who effortlessly carve out entire hours to be offended by every single thing on the internet.
If I had a nickel for everytime I said, "If I had a nickel", I`d be rich.
I`m off to bed. For those of you who wish to add a touch of authenticity to your fantasies, the sheets are pale blue...
if your looking for love sorry to disappoint you im already in a relationship with fun and freedom. :-)
Buying someone flowers is kind of a weird idea. Like: Hey, these are for you, now watch them slowly die, because I love you.
OMG guys!! im so happy!! the doctors just gave me a jacket so im always hugging myself!!
We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile. Then we’ll be new friends all over again.
You had me at 0 mutual friends