Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I`m down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall.
I`ve had frozen pizza and delivery pizza in the same day, b!tch you don`t know me.
I watch so many crime shows on Tv, that when I turn off the Tv set, I wipe my fingerprints 0ff the remote.
This generation is guilty of making the wrong people rich and famous.
I had no plans on looking sexy today, but sh!t happens.
All I ask is that if we arm the teachers, that the librarians get silencers.
She asked me to make her feel special so I gave her a helmet and crayons.
My swear jar has more money in it than my bank account.
Buying an airline ticket is like paying shipping and handling for yourself.
I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn`t care.....Ceiling fan: 6 Me: 0
Show some cleavage on bad hair days.
Ladies: If he’s right handed, and you find the mouse to the left of the computer monitor, there is only one explanation. Sorry Guys.
2015 and I still can`t believe it`s not butter!
"you failed just as much as your dads condom."
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.