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When they discover the center of the universe, alot of people will be shocked they`re not in it.
Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
!that embarrasing moment when you fake a call then a real one comes...!lol.
They say a woman’s work is never done. Maybe that’s why they get paid less.
A Smart car Zoomed past me And vanished into a pothole.
When I go to someone’s house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don’t like visitors.
If you ever disappeared while hiking, I’d remain with the search party at least until it started raining.
why me is me ?
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
I don`t normally poop with the door open, but I don`t want to miss the in flight movie
YouTube "This video is not available in your country". where the hell am I from? NARNIA?
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
You know it was a good sh!t when you come back and your screensaver is on.
I party until the taxi with the pretty red and blue lights picks me up.
The less you know, the more you think you do.