Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Million dollar idea: Duck Dynasty chia pets.
Waffles are just pancakes with abs.
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
The more you know. Daylight Savings started back in 1964 when Jerry Daylight Savings was an hour late for work & convinced his boss all the clocks were wrong.
These last 7 hours at work are always the longest.
If airports are so safe, why are the buildings called Terminal
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
The dentist told me I need to be more aggressive when I floss so I`ve decided to start growling.
You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not shout I`m telling you why...we have our own problems and nobody cares about yours.
Why do people say "nice to meet you" before I`ve even said anything? How do you know it`s nice to meet me? I`m an a$$hole.
Iām a pervert, but in a romantic way.
If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot..
Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest.
How many times do I have to say "excuse me" before "get the f*ck out of my way" becomes acceptable?
First you told me to be myself now you`re telling to me not be an idiot. Make up your mind woman!