Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Waiter: Would u like ur coffee black sir? Me: What other colors do u have?
The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?
You took the time to make your minivan look like a reindeer, but you can`t take one second to hit the turn signal an inch from your fingers?
Isn`t it strange that bankruptcy attorneys don`t let you make payments....
If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
Do you realize that a woman`s "I`ll be ready in five minutes." and a guy`s " I`ll be home in five minutes." are exactly the same?
My favorite part of the Bible is when God gives humans free will, then kills them with a flood because they didn`t act the way he wanted.
90% of adulthood is just deleting emails.
The decline of civilization started when they stopped putting toys in boxes of cereal.
My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I`m thinking about getting her a treadmill.
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!
Celebrate Valentines Day responsibly, or you`ll be celebrating Thanksgiving in a maternity ward
You can tell how old someone is by what part of the chex mix is their favorite.
We think therefore we must be, but are we?
I`m going to spend Valentine`s day with my ex.... Box 360