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One trenta cheeseburger please.
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
Types of like on facebook: 1.Stalker like. 2.Crush like. 3.I wanna bang you like. 4.Agree like 5.Pity like.
Hell is an endless cycle of getting comfortable in bed & then suddenly having to pee.
I wish we had staff meetings in the garden. The plants would`ve love the fertilizer.
Save time. See it my way.
Patience is what I have when there are too many witnesses.
Some people just bring out the psycho in me
Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I`m getting tired of running and he`s catching up to me.
The lottery gives you a 1 in 20 billion chance you won`t go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5. You play your game and I`ll play mine.
I eat my salad without dressing because who has time to put on clothes...
I can`t believe people used to have to paint selfies.
Statement: "Do you really love me?" True Meaning: "Ive done something stupid and youre going to find out sooner or later."
Karma may "work" but I think that bitch takes a lot of days off
come on people driving is just like coloring, just stay inside the lines.