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I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
My head says “go to the gym” but my heart says, “stay on the internet forever and eat!”
Another beautiful morning I wish I was sleeping through.
If you have a dog grooming business and it’s not called “Doggie Style” then something is wrong with you.
Just hung a picture. I nailed it.
They should paint the bottom of swimming pools with satellite photos so it feels like you’re flying.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Love going into a crowded area and yelling, "Hey stupid!!" and seeing how many people turn around.
You will always be my best friend ... You know too much.
Instead of having a child, I intend to spend my life acting like one.
There are two types of people in this world: those who know how to handle stress, and those who need bail money.
Don`t get out of bed, it`s a trap.
9 of 10 voices in my head telI me I `m crazy. One hums ...
I wish that life had an option for viewing other available episodes.
Oops, I must have put my personalities on "shuffle"