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I hate it when I buy organic veggies but when I get them home I find out they are regular frosted donuts...
I`m not much on seizing the day, I just kinda poke it with a stick.
I am a very tolerant person until you think differently than me. Then I act like a spoiled little brat.
The iPad Air is named after what`s left in your bank account when you buy one.
I have my own version of Whole Foods, where I eat the Whole Pizza, Whole Box of Donuts, Whole Bag of Chips...
A cool thing about being in a relationship is that when you make a mistake you get to hear about it over and over.
Happy St. Patrick`s Day to the fool that gave up alcohol for Lent.
I bet short people get really excited when they accidentally hit their head on things.
Facebook: A place where people, who know so little about anything, have so much to say about everything.
B!tch life isn`t a garden ... So stop being a hoe!
If the shoe fits, wear it. And if these shoes belong to someone else, walk away briskly.
What if your soulmate is over there on Twitter while you`re here on Facebook?
Just ran across a great dessert recipe...Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl. Add fresh squeezed lime juice. Then toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake.
I always win at chess ... by hitting my opponent with a brick.
Technically, every picture is a before picture.