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You can`t fix STUPID, but you can Numb it with a 2x4.
I had to leave the bowling alley right in the middle of the game. I didn`t have time to spare.
People that chew gum and drink alcohol what the f*ck is wrong with you.
you know why maths is unhappy? because it got so many problems.
I relate to Game of Thrones because much like my own life, I have no idea what’s going on and there’s a lot of wine drinking.
Every so often I’ll listen to my wife talk non stop for hours at a time, to remind myself why people wander into traffic without looking.
If I`m in your house and you have bookshelves... Be prepared to see me turning statues and bending down books while looking for your lair.
I am not judging you...I already decided I don`t like you
I didn`t get drunk enough last night, I can still remember working.
A woman that doesn`t ask for nothing deserves everything
I don’t care if we don’t talk, your existence still pisses me off.
I just found a piece of pizza in my trash can. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING!!
thinks we should all jump out of our chairs and do the 5 second happy dance! READY! GO!
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational post are hard.
There is no vulnerable feeling like when you are about to sneeze ... with a mouthful of rice.