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I bet sex is great when I`m not the only one in the room.
It makes me sad that so many women feel like they have to wear makeup and clothes.
I ran into a hot guy at the grocery store last week and he hasn`t tracked me down and proposed to me yet. This is why I hate movies.
My house isn’t dirty, I just have everything on display.
I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
I don`t know about you . But everytime I go on Twitter , I get this weird feeling , I am being followed.
The Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
I`ll bet Amish people look forward to Thanksgiving since it`s the only time their clothes look festive.
The problem with the girl of my dreams is that she’s never around when I’m awake.
Some people need a shock collar. I need the remote.
Guys, if you buy ANY woman clothing, & you don’t get her a size S with a gift receipt, you’re an a$$hole.
So, you`re telling me that the Grammys aren`t cute little bags of cocaine?
"You blew a tranny" means something completely different to an auto mechanic.
Keep up the good work, people who make free porn available.
Hoping to get "till death do us part" reduced to a 15 year sentence and time served.