Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A woman saying “I’m not mad at you” is like a dentist saying “You won’t feel a thing.”
that awkard moment when someone`s laugh is actually funnier than the joke
Happiness is using an ATM and finding a receipt left behind by someone with an account balance lower than yours.
Studies show that 5 out of 6 people enjoy Russian roulette.
Attn Single people: If marriage was so great, there would be 6 people on the internet right now.
Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible.
So she asked me "Do these pants make my butt look big?" And I said, "Not at all dear .. its the fat that does that." So now I´m single again.
Let me be honest, I dont even walk a mile in my own shoes.
Shall I compare thee to a Summer`s Eve? For thou art a douche.
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can`t figure out who`s going to do it.
Time to train for my favorite winter sport. Extreme Hibernation.
It could be worse. Spiders could have wings.
Cats have tails so you can swing them around. Duh.
College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
I google myself sometimes just to know what the hell I`m up to. ;)