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If you`re wondering about my cooking skills, I`ve been asked to bring paper towels to our family gathering.
Relatives - Because sometimes you need reminding of your bad genes too.
I don`t hit the "Like" button on my own statuses because I am self-centered, it`s just that I amaze myself sometimes and I want to show my appreciation!!!!!!
so, on a scale of one is to seven, which letter of the alphebet is your favourite colour?
I just scrolled so far back on Facebook`s Timeline... I wound up back over on MySpace. :(
I assume people with dark tinted windows pick their nose more aggressively than the rest of us.
Nothing says `I dont take you seriously` like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
Life was much easier when apples and blackberries were fruits&& not phones
Just realized I have more in common with Garfield than I have with most people
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or married.
You know you`re getting old when you fall down and wonder what else you can do while you`re down there.
Does anyone have like twenty thousand dollars they don’t want? Asking for myself.
My shrink says if I take these pills I won`t see you guys anymore.
Our neighbor said he wouldn`t mind me stealing their newspaper if I would at least put a robe on first.
Not a day goes by when I don`t try to use The Force.