Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
i want a cute boy to let me hold his hand and his credit card
It’s not that I’m old, your music really does suck.
A word of advice, stay on my good side. My good side is in Hawaii.
I wake up every morning with the joy & excitement of wanting to go directly back to sleep.
I didn`t get your text (phrase) - I got your text, I was just too lazy to respond.
I hate it when teachers say, “You think it’s funny?” Obviously it is, if it wasn’t I wouldn’t be laughing
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as "that weird thing I did for a while."
Superman wears his underwear outside his pants and he`s a "hero". But I do, and I`m "weird", "creepy" and "never invited over again."
OMG!! IT`S MONDAY ... What the f*ck do you think comes after Sunday, Sunday JR. ?
Think about how much more stressful life’s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
Had a great time watching the family oriented PG rated Shrek with my grandson last night... until he asked why a Donkey would have sex with a Dragon.
Love is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Mouth the word " vacuum" to a stranger & see what happens.
Hello... Modeling Agency? Ya, my selfie just got 34 likes I think I`m ready to go pro!
Me and my cat have been staring at each other for so long I forgot which one of us is stoned.