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Chess says everything about men & women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone.
Wanted: Someone to hand feed me Cheetos so my fingers don`t get orange..... P.S. No weirdos.
The joy of finding out that your boss is going on a holiday is way greater than you yourself going on one
There`s a fine line between crazy and free spirited and it`s usually a prescription.
A good example of mixed emotions would be finding a hundred dollar bill nailed to your tire.
Have we considered putting Scooby Doo and the gang on the Malaysian airplane caper?
I quit my job at the helium factory today. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.
Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up
I had the greatest bowel movement at 2am......unfortunately I woke up at 8am (<>..<>)
Does Starbucks have an express lane if your order is 10 words or less?
1st thing I do after great sex! Turn the alarm clock off.........
I never run with scissors. (those last two words were unnecessary.)
Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
I came home one day all proud as can be with my report card and said to my Mom ,Look I got a B in reading , She said that`s a D you moron !