Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t rush me, I`m waiting until the last minute.
All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one.
People in love use phrases like “takes my breath away” and “swept me off my feet”. I think they’re confusing love with attempted murder.
My ex wife claims I have "commitment issues" like I didn`t just wait in line for 30 minutes to get a hot dog at Costco.
If you’re going to walk really slowly in front of me you should at least have the courtesy to have a slammin booty.
You can correct people`s grammar or you can have friends. But you can`t do both.
Every time a clerk asks "Did you find everything you need?" I always answer "No, I couldn`t find a hug"
Had a nice, relaxing weekend. I now have ample energy to hate Monday and most of Tuesday.
Facebook is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.
Pretty much always 3-5 seconds away from just laying down wherever I am.
My bank lets me send a text message and it´ll text back with my balance. It´s a cool feature but I didn´t think the LOL was necessary.
Put your gossiping skills to the test, go write a novel...
If you don`t believe that women will actually fight over a pair of shoes, you`ve never watched The Wizard of Oz!
Ok everyone enough of your "family" time, come back to the internet. We are your real family.
“Until death do us part,” means we will all be single in heaven, right?