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If my computer desktop were an actual place, they would bring in blindfolded people to make a Febreeze commercial.
The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.
I have a pretty big ass, so when I half ass something you`re still getting something impressive.
Some idiots actually sold their homes and properties thinking the world was really going to end! What losers. I hope my boss gives me my job back on Monday
If love is blind....why is lingerie so popular?
Guys if you ever want to imagine what a woman’s mind feels like imagine a browser with 2,859 tabs open. All. The. F*cking. Time.
Sometimes it`s fun to make fun of yourself. Almost as fun as it is to make fun of others.
I wish I could google "things to eat in my fridge" so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed. ;)
What if there actually is one legit Nigerian millionaire prince who genuinely needs to use your bank account?
I’ll need a weekend to recover from this weekend.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Happy New Year you guys.
Never trust a married guys opinion of who’s hot. It’s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.
I think my other three stove burners are becoming jealous of front-right.
They say do what you love & the money will follow. I love doing nothing. We`ll see.
Here`s where I draw the line: ___________________________.