Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
2 cops walk into a bar… I don’t know what happened after that. I got the f*ck out of there.
If only my ceiling fan could hold my weight, then I would never be bored again.
If kindness really kills, you`ll always be completely safe around me.
I can`t find my happy place this morning, mind if I goto yours
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, nevermind, you will know who you are soon enough
Ask me about my ability to annoy complete strangers.
Accidentally walking through the camping aisle at Target every once in a while is about as outdoorsy as I get.
This guy told me that playing the voilin is the best way to calm you down. I bet he never tried smashing it over someone`s head.
If you don’t count any of my failures, I’m quite successful.
Swiss army knives are only like 8% knife.
There are only two types of honest people in this world.....small children and drunk people.
My bank statement is just a visual record of bad decisions.
Asian gangs, also known as study groups...
They should make Vodka ChapStick
I’ve spent way too much of my life wondering why food doesn’t rhyme with good.