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There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
The thing about smart mother f*ckers is... They sound like crazy mother f*ckers to dumb mother f*ckers!
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
18 is TOO young to get married! You can`t even buy booze at 18! If you can`t buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?
If it wasn’t for caffeine I wouldn’t be a functioning member of society.
Did 4 push ups & 2 sit ups then ate 4 doughnuts & drank 2 beers. It`s called balance people!
I should win an Oscar for acting like I`m busy at work.
Lately, my furnace has run so much I nicknamed it "Forest".
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair. Made of steel. Twice. From Hulk. On adrenaline rush.
"What`s wrong?" "Oh it`s personal" Then, why`d you post it to Facebook.
You really are the cat`s pajamas, and by that I mean you`re a stupid idea.
I need to hire someone who will follow me around and just knock the unhealthy food out of my hand.
Please be careful on the roads. Lots of people are drinking exsessively and letting their wives drive.
I`ve done it in the bathroom, I`ve done it in the bedroom, I`ve done it in the kitchen, on the couch, outside, in the bus, yoo I just can`t seem to stop this texting.:)
This is my leftover status from Thanksgiving.