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I’m the kind of girl that would eat Doritos on her wedding day & accidentally wipe her hands on her dress.
There`s a big difference between knowing what time the liquor store closes, and what time it opens.
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
Why can’t I lose weight easily I mean I lose everything else without a problem.
Asking a girl what exactly she looks for in a guy is like asking her "what exactly do I have to do to get friendzoned?
I`m "got my sexual education from a 2 Live Crew cassette tape" years old.
Never scratch your a$$ with chocolate on your fingers.
If you want to see exactly how angry a person can get, tell them to "calm down" when they`re already pissed off.
I don`t blame Monday. I blame Saturday for not matching my Powerball numbers
Energy conservation activists would get more attention if they called themselves power rangers.
Long story short, I love summaries
I`m sorry. . . I didn`t mean to stare. . . it`s just that I have never seen stupid of this magnitude up close before
I got so much Crazy going on that the term "Bi-Polar" would be excessively underestimating my condition, let`s go with "Multi-Polar" from now on.........
In the South, they remove the `g` from the end of most words. Just sayin`.