Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.
You know what’s funnier than watching someone trip and fall? Absolutely nothing!
sometimes i look at people and think really, thats the sperm that won.
My favorite hobbies are practical jokes and masturbation. I’m always trying to pull a fast one
I don`t know, guys. The whole "play dead when a bear attacks" thing sounds suspiciously like something the bears would come up with...
I hate when people see me at the store and are like "Hey, what are you doing?" I`m like "Oh you know, hunting elephants."
Q.Teacher: why do we drink water? A. Learner : Because we cant eat it!
Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always like to write: "Last warning, you have a week to get the rest of the money together."
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does
Why would I pay someone to scare me at a haunted house when I could just open a can of biscuits at home?
Police officer: Ma`am do you know why I pulled you over? Me: I`m just as confused as you are.
Diet Tip #63 : Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour.
I`m great at making pancakes and women uncomfortable.
Lazy Rule: If you spill water, It will eventually dry.
It’s not the holiday season unless you push your body to the brink of alcoholism and diabetes.