😄 Daily Silly Status
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Taking shots of Tequila is just another way of saying, "I like where I wake up to always be a surprise."
I never thought I`d be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning ... I was right!
Bitch I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
Well that`s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I`m doing.
You just dont know how dumb you are until you get a little smarter
To make a long story short quit right in the middle.
How long do I microwave this 14 lb turkey?
Today is the first day of the rest of my Vodka.
Peeing in the sink is a great time saver: no lifting the seat, no flush, sink is right there to wash hands jk I don`t wash my hands.
It’s not drinking alone if the dogs are home, right?
Sarcasm is a dominant gene in my family.
Just hired two Private Investigators to follow each other. I`ll keep you posted......
I wish there was a reality show where people learned grammar.
Stay Calm, take a breath, and reload.
Twitter is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.