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I wish the media and politicians would stop jumping to delusions.
I love my friends unconditionally.* *Certain terms and conditions may apply. May not be available on all days. Coverage not available in all locations.Offer good for 30 days.Requires two-year minimum agreement. Fees applied for activation and early termination.
I`m sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew.
Man, that .01% of germs that can´t be killed by hand sanitizer must be some bad a$$ sh!t
Head & Shoulders needs to come out with a body spray that will help repel flakey people from my life.
The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how Cinderella must have felt at midnight
Futons are the most disappointing Transformers ever.
You know you`re old when all of the bands you listened to growing up have several greatest hits albums.
So I harvested my tomato today, it`s bound to be good considering the $43.29 I invested to plant it.
Had a super busy day today converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
A lot of people don`t know this, but you can quietly like or dislike Obama.
I`m going to clean my house today and by clean I mean I`m drinking vodka and spraying Febreze everywhere.
New rule: advertisements can no longer use adjectives. I`ll decide what is "fresh" and "natural" and "like a real girl" thank you very much.
If your friends tell you not to give in to peer pressure and you don`t: technically, you did
When 12 year old girls call each other honey and sweet heart...