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Does ke$ha go by k€sha in Europe?
I need to re-home a dog. It’s a small terrier and tends to bark a lot. If your interested, let me know and I’ll jump over my neighbors fence and get it for you.
You can`t lick any part of your reflection except your tongue.
I don`t like making plans for the day, because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.
I`m beginning to think the only reason I buy bananas is to watch them die a painful death on my counter.
Happy third birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge.
This town is about as exciting as watching an M&M melt in the sun.
I`m so sick and tired of my light weight friends who can`t handle their alcohol...Last night , they dropped me 3 times when carrying me out of the bar!
If u think someone (me) is cute u should tell them (me)
I spent at least half an hour trying to get my girlfriends bra off. I will never try wearing that again.
That awkward moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.
Our sex was so good, the neighbors smoked after we finished.
My dentist said I grind at night. I was like, ok stalker.
Today`s Horoscope: You`re gullible
I dont think I could ever stab someone.. I barely can get the straw into a Capri Sun.