šŸ˜„ Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

This bulk box of peanuts I got from Costco tastes like styrofoam.
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The reason good men are hard to find is because they`re usually too busy working.
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Was born with a rare condition called "Amazing"
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Thank you Lord for this delicious meal we are about to Instagram.
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wants my 260 FB friends to know I love you all..except #193
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A lot of people are only alive because I shed too much hair to ever get away with murder.
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I don`t plan anything as well as I plan which alcoholic beverage I`m going to consume once I leave work.
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The first snow of spring is always the most beautiful
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I`ve robbed banks before...and they`re never getting their pens back.
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75% of men kiss their wives good bye when leaving the house. 100% kiss their house good bye when leaving their wives.
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Some people are such treasures that you really just wanna bury them.
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I’m off for a quiet beer. Followed by fourteen noisy ones.
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I`m going to become a hermit as soon as I find a cave with a decent wifi connection.
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All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
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I just googled, "understanding women," the computer crashed.
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